Tuesday, August 24, 2010

It's Morphin Time!

OK, so you know how sometimes a person's moment of glory turns out to be something totally pathetic in retrospect? Or how you're trying to cut your teeth and pay your dues, but actually that struggle is as far up the later as you get? Guess what. The Power Rangers by and large got way more awesome after they left that show. So what the hell are they up to now?

1.) Thuy Trang - Yellow Ranger

This one isn't funny at all and is a complete downer. Unfortunately, Thuy Trang was killed in a car crash in 2001. It's extra sad because she was doing OK. Not super great, but pretty good. She had a role as a principal villain in The Crow: City of Angels. Iggy Pop was also in that movie, so I guess you get some extra points by proxy.


2.) David Yost - Blue Ranger

It's kind of hard to make a judgment call on David. I will say this: he owns a "Z Pizza" franchise and, even though I don't know what that is, I know that pizza is fucking incredible. I have to imagine that if the Ninja Turtles ever quit beating up super villains, that they'd probably own a few pizza joints as well. Other than that, David Yost is 41, which means he hasn't spiraled into a drug-fueled untimely death. Hooray!

He does look pretty tired, though.


3.) Austin St. John - Red Ranger

OK, first off he was born in Roswell, New Mexico. That means it's entirely possible that Austin's part alien. Or all alien. That must have felt weird to take a role in a show where it was his job to beat up an extraterrestrial army. It's like space treason. Secondly, he's well trained in Tae Kwon Do, Judo, Kenpo, and Shenkito. I don't even know what that last one is.

Maybe it involves face weight and Bluetooth headsets.

Also, he's a paramedic now, so he saves lives for real. Like everyday. He's possibly the only person on this list who became an honest to goodness real hero. And he lives in Sterling, VA which is my goddamn state. It's entirely possible that I will travel to Sterling and get injured just so that I can tell people that I was saved by a fucking Power Ranger.


4.) Walter Emmanuel Jones - Black Ranger

Walter and Thuy really got the short end of the casual racism stick on the show, what with their roles being essentially color coded by their ethnicity. He apparently left the show over issues regarding wages and fees. But he's managed to land small roles in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Shield, and even as a zombie in House of the Dead 2. Even though that movie was celluloid afterbirth by all accounts and the title of his role was "Locker Zombie," Walter Jones has still professionally played a zombie on the big screen which is an honor I would really like to achieve.

"Oscar, please." -Liam

Then again, he had major role in Backyard Dogs, a straight to video backyard wrestling production. Perhaps it was a movie tie-in with his PETCO commercials. And he was arrested for DUI in July 2009, but the charges were dropped this past April.

Also, it looks like he got to hang out with the cast of Home Improvement.


5.) Amy Jo Johnson - Pink Ranger

Ms. Johnson has managed to continue with a respectable acting and musical career. She landed a part in Interstate 60 with motherfucking Gary Oldman, which is hard core awesome no matter how you slice it. Now, you can see her in the police drama Flashpoint (in which her music is also featured) on CBS. Or CTV if you live in Canada, but nobody reading this blog lives in Canada. Previously, she's had roles in Spin City, The Division, Felicity, and ER.

And bitch loves her some Game Boy Color apparently.


6.) Richard Steven Horvitz - Alpha 5

While Amy Jo Johnson may have the strongest live-action acting career, Horvitz might have the most recognizable career in show business post Rangers flat-fucking-out. Richard Horvitz is a voice actor and you may have heard him on every goddamn Nickelodeon cartoon from the 90's. He gets around. He's done cartoons, movies, live-action (voice dubbing, mostly), and video games.



For my money, it doesn't get much better than Invader Zim.


7.) Jason David Frank - Green/White/A Whole Bunch of Others Ranger

Jason David Frank has gone on to focus solely on a very specific career path: kicking your fucking ass.

Frank seen here, about to murder martial arts to death.

He's a professional MMA fighter. He's proficient in Boxing, Karate, Muay Thai, and Jiu-Jitsu and won his August 4th pro MMA debut quickly at the time of 0:46 in the first round by a Rear Naked Choke Submission. I don't have a professional understanding of that move, but it sounds pants-shittingly terrifying and totally humiliating.

I was too scared to look up "Rear Naked Choke Submission,"
so here's a picture of a T-Rex eating a man with a machine gun.



8.) Johnny Yong Bosch - Replacement Black Ranger

When Walter Jones was written out of the show, Bosch was added to the cast. But what's he up to now? Taunting immortal demons with a huge ass revolver and a sword with a motorcycle throttle attached.



He's fucking Nero from Devil May Cry 4.

For those of you who aren't video game losers like me, he's playing the shit talking guy with the crazy arm. Oh, did I mention he did all of the motion capturing and stunts, as well? Johnny Yong Bosch has followed the Richard Horvitz school of thought and heavily pursued voice acting. What titles might he have provided voice work for, you ask? Oh, I don't know, just a couple of things you've probably never heard of, like Akira. Bosch played the role of Kaneda in the re-release of Akira, a character that's become one of the most recognizable anime icons in the West.

You know, just the guy on the cover of the damn movie.

Bosch has largely stayed within the bounds of anime and video games, as opposed to Horvitz's more mainstream, kid friendly route.

9.) Jason Narvy - Eugene "Skull" Skullovitch

This dude wasn't even a Power Ranger. He, along with real life friend and pending heart attack victim Paul Schrier, played the "comic relief" duo Bulk & Skull. The words "comic relief" are in sarcastic quotations for a reason. Only watch the video below if you worry that you might have been Hitler in a past life and feel the need to punish yourself.



Ugh.

But you know what? Mr. Jason Narvy realized that business was mindblowingly fucking stupid and he'd had enough of it, god damn it. He was gonna get him some good old fashioned book learnin'. After leaving the show, he left Los Angeles to pursue further education. He received a Bachelor of Liberal Arts degree in English from Franklin and Marshall College in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, a Master of Letters in Renaissance Literature in Performance from Mary Baldwin College and the American Shakespeare Center in Staunton, Virginia. He participated in the Young Company Theatre Camp at the ASC as a director and Master Class Fight Workshop instructor in 2004. He recently graduated from the University of California, Santa Barbara with a Ph.D. in Dramatic Arts.

Did you read that? He's now "Dr. Skull, Master Class Fight Instructor." Fucking A, dude! That is ultra success to the max!

This is what happened when I Google Imaged "Dr. Skull."


LP out.

No comments:

Post a Comment